What do I Offer for a Change?

It has been a while since I last posted something in here. I was just too busy thinking, what could I be contributing to this society that was burying itself more and more in the quick sand of chaos and disorder? Does this country still feels something worth mentioning? Do we really need something else to be free and be responsible for all the things that is happening now? Where is hope? What have become of it?

I was always saddened lately by the news around my country, making me feel so stressed out and left with no energy, not even the guts to write on this blog. I have failed. That is what I felt. I have failed. I could give nothing more because, I, myself is a failure.

Was it just because of something that was not attained or done that gives me this feeling? Lately, I felt like I'm feeling that nauseating breeze that I used to breath when I'm still a fifth grader. I missed it, but going into it once again reminds me a lot of things that I dreamed of, and should have been prioritized before but I have failed to do. Now, I am considered a failure.

This country, Philippines, has a lot of things happening just because they are needed to happen, yet, my countrymen doesn't care. I am a public school teacher. A servant for my people, yet, I cannot feel that I am effective. Last graduation, I have more than 10 students that should have been dropped out of the list of graduates, these students failed, failed to attend my class, failed to submit requirements, failed to pass the exams, all for 2 semesters. Yet, they were able to go upstage and took their high school diploma with them. I thought, it will be helpful, but my conscience is killing me. How could I be unfair to other students? This was not my idea. It was by the virtue of advisers who kept begging me to pass their students and simply ask for projects like books. I failed with them when I gave my self up and let them go.

Now, tell me, when these things happen here in small school which is a small institution in this country, how could the country be better? If would simply count its effect in geometric multiples, it will be gigantic. That will be the reason why this country is still sinking. Tell me, what must I do for change?