Alive Again!

It has been a while since I last logged and told my stories. I was in some kind of frenzy and been to a lot of other adversary, that is life. None physical, spiritual and mental indeed.Very emotional.

A year after my auntie died, my grandparents also died. They are my father's mother and father. I don't know how they come into this world and been living together for almost 70 years, but they had endured a lot, trying to stay together that long, and, probably, making a pledge that both of them will leave at the same time together...

I haven't heard of such story that two lovers who had been together for so long will exit earth at the same moment, but this is what happened to them. It was very emotional for all of us because we never thought it would happen but it did. All of us are saddened by the fact that we could never see them again in flesh.

All of us knows that they are old and sickly. My grandfather was the first to become ill by November last year. My grandmother could still walk around, chat a little, and smile.The grandfather could no longer walk, he was bedridden, clothed and fed in bed. It was an emotional site to see how he suffers from physical damage of his body. My grandmother could do nothing. The youngest son came and help in caring for the olden ones. It was about a month later when the grandfather started to reject his food stuff.


We thought that this could be his time. We brought him to the hospital, and let doctors examine him, thinking that he will be given some dose of medicines that would make him eat. The doctor told us that he will never make it and that his body is now giving up. He gave my grandfather an IV of dextrose so that even if he ain't eat nothing, he would somehow be nourished.

This had been the setup for about three days when my grandmother suddenly felt pain in her tummy. She asked for some tablets for the pain sleep through the night. My uncle, who was their care-giver, never noticed anything strange about my grandmother. It was my grandfather who got all the attention. The next day, she was already gone, if you looked at her, you would think that she was sleeping, but she had already left.

The grandfather suddenly was also too ill, and that his dextrose seemed to clot a lot in his veins. Two days later, on his 86th birthday, he also left, died of multiple organ malfunction while the grandmother was not yet buried, laying there in her coffin, silently waiting for her husband.

The two were buried at the same spot on the same cemetery on the same day, two days after the grandfather died.

Someday, somehow, we will catch up, telling stories about how life here had been so challenging, and how the lesson they are teaching me is being learned everyday. 

Getting Up After the Fall

It was a tough experience, I have just been into. I said I'll never cry. Yet, when it was time to bury her, I couldn't help my self but cry, tears of love, joy, anxiety, I don't really know what I exactly felt that moment when we have to left her on the ground. It was my first time since I was already an adult that someone dear to me passed. Now, I know. It was an experience where I have learned a lot, about emotion, about people around, about friendship. I was humbled to see that a lot of other people condoles us.

It was a tough experience, yet, going back to normal life before the event was even tougher. With our culture here in the Philippines, losing someone means losing a lot of energy, money and a whole lot more. I find it hard to go back to work, after the physical stress given on me. I was too tired to even get out of bed. But I had to do it. Got to take this emotion off and be back where I used to so that I can plan my life and family for the better, that, even in my death, they'll be ready. I think my Aunt is still with us, teaching little lessons on reflections and plans.

Good Bye

It was already two weeks past and she had gone away, my father's sister. If there was a greater being that can control all these things, perhaps, he has some reasons for letting it happen.

My Auntie was a strong personality. She was the 2nd of the nine children of the family that she knew. She was always the better one at annoying my uncles (her brothers) in their drinking session (I grew up in a culture where drinking wine and beer seems status symbol) , criticizing them with their behavior and their way of life, especially the ones close to her. She has always been the big mouth when her brothers are asking for rice from her, and yet, she'll see them drinking and not working at all. She has been their guard ever since. Seems good to me, telling them how to be better. But it does not stop there. In her younger days, she used to yell at my grandmother telling her that she was good only at giving birth and that is all. That she is next to nothing in doing chores and managing their resource. I don't know, it was all legend now.

I don't know if some of them(brothers) are cursing her, or someone is wishing her dead, now she was. Is it carma? Someone's got to pay what someone's taken. A rule I've been keeping since I got this hype on mind and reality. Perhaps, it is a way, that she need to suffer in order to see others helping hands, she need to be cared, for her to see that others are willing to extend their hand over her, she need to be humbled to see how things are different now than when she was still strong. Now she could no longer yell or speak or even whisper. She was silenced by a disease that she strongly objected. She wanted to fight it, but her body cannot. It was all that she could give and it is the end of her road.

To my Father, she was a comrade who when they were still small, was his playmate at the farm and in school. He was so sad, I saw it in his eyes, but he never let a drop of tear fall. Probably showing his leadership for he is the firstborn. Not even during the burial. But way back at home, he almost collapse to see that his younger sister was now gone, to a place that she would never be back. Perhaps, for him, it is better than to see her suffer in pain. He could not take it. Now only the memories remain, good or bad, they all have been buried now in memories.

All I can tell my children was that she had been good in taking care of me when I was a child. Good bye to you now, and we'll see you later.

Extending Life

It was late Sunday afternoon when I got a phone call from my sister way back from the other town. My Auntie was in need of blood. She had been confined to a hospital for more than 3 days now and as to what I had observed, she was not getting any better.

She was a cancer patient, breast cancer made her that way. She had her breast cut, put away some muscles and tissues and undergone s chemo-therapy. That was 6 months ago. I thought she would survive. But my thoughts were just plain thoughts. It will never come true. For every day, she is getting weaker and weaker. We don't have enough money to complete her therapy so she has just gotten 3 doses, through the help of some good hearted people. When there is no more hope for the sickness, she was desperate to find ways to live and survive. She resorted to the traditional medicine here in our country, some kind of massage therapy "hilot" as we came to call it here. I don't know what or why she has done it but it somehow amplified the damage and now, she was bedridden for a week.

It is hard to think that she would say goodbye to us for she was my childhood guardian who was always there for me when I needed care. I couldn't think of anything else but to help her ease the pain that she is now enduring. If only I could take half of it, she would be better.

Before it is too late, she was taken to the hospital for a check up, but the doctors insisted that she had to be confined. So she was, and there was an order for her to undergo blood transfusion. I volunteered to be a donor. It was my first time to donate blood and I really know nothing about the process. Somebody said it was painful but I am more than ready to take that small pinch of pain to extend my Aunties dwindling life. How much is a pinch of pin pain than a cancer pain??? It was a priceless gift, though she would never knew it or she would never feel it, still, I should be thankful she had taken care of me while I was young and now it is my turn to bring something back to her. I took the pain, its not really painful, nothing much than a bite of an ant, but to undergo an ordeal with many people thinking I could not do it, is a challenge that I must overcome, and I did. Even till now, she is teaching me lessons in life, though bedridden, I can still recall how strong her personality was.

I would never want to forget her, just like my 2nd mother. I don't want to see her in pain and weary, I'll just want to see her smile once again, though not here, but she will always be alive in my memories.

In Search of Greener Greens

I have to find new ways to conquer this widening deficit to our budget, one way I could only think of is to go abroad. I hate it. I really really hate it. It is not that productive when you are always thinking of your loved ones here at home and you are on the other side of the world. This is probably the reason why many citizens of this nation chooses to work for other country, for a more stable cash, better income, better chances, better standard of living, better technology and a whole lot others. It is the only resort people could think of.

But how can I go there when I could not speak their tongue or hear them in my language? How could I ever make transactions with people so foreign to me? Well, I just found out a service that translates languages. IAFL Translation and Interpretation Services of India will do the trick. They can help me to understand people from India, and the Arabs as well as Farsi and a whole lot others. Visit their site and know that they can provide you with your translation needs.

I used to be afraid of the thoughts of going abroad, but now, I am thinking the other way around and with a little help from a well respected company that was translating languages since 1989, I am sure I can do it.

I will have no problem in creating a resume and application letter that these foreign company have. IAFL Translation and Interpretation Services can respond to incoming emails within 1 hour and make my application speaking in their native tongue. What is better with this company is that they are trusted by other well established companies around the world in translating and communicating with Eastern Companies, so why should I bother?

I just need a little more convincing power and encouragement from family members and I will take my flight to the Middle East.

The Ever Increasing Inflation Rates

This past few days, I've been to another province, I have to go for an errand. I was shocked to find out that my fare was too high, and that I budgeted less, meaning I'll have to skip meals in order to go to my destination. This is one of the effects of too much fluctuations of inflation rate. Disgusting isn't it? I never thought this could have happened. It was too much to be a burden that for an ordinary employee like me, could no longer afford to visit relatives from a neighboring province, You'll need to have a thousand pesos to get a comfortable ride into them, which, is actually, about 130 kms. away from my home. How could I ever get out of this?

I am thinking that I should set up a business. Yet, all I am thinking of have already failed with the trials of other people. Should I think of another or just let myself dive into this dreadful pit of burden? I cannot allow to see my child not to have his basic needs. I cannot take the picture of my son dying of hunger and poverty. What should I do to overcome this crisis? Should I blame this carnal government, whose interest goes with business-politicians and thinks of themselves only, not of the greater number of people whom they swear to serve. Disgusting!

How Much More can we Take?

Last Saturday, oil companies raised their prices for fuels for the nth times. I don't really know how many times they have raised their prices, but one thing is for sure, fuel prices could swell so high that my motorcycle could no longer afford to take in what I used to put in. Is this an economy our government boast of?

As we all know, when fuel prices go up, all other things that uses it also goes up in prices. Rice in the some parts of this country is now sold at almost average PhP 45.00 per kilogram. What more can we eat? leftover bananas? Potato tops? Camote tops? Though they contain the same nutrient as rice, their prices are also blowing up. What could be left for Juan Dela Cruz to eat? What about the poor, how are they to eat with these price increase in food? How could a family of 5 hold its decent living with a small income, and high inflation rate?

Their price increase was not yet finished, before this week ends, another round of increase is expected? What can I afford now to fuel my ride? To light my home? To feed my family? With only PhP 8,000.00 (about US$200) take home pay every month, how am I to budget that with these price increases? These companies (oil retailers and refiners) have pumped out their wealth from us, ordinary people who cannot avoid but use their product. When can we move away from them? What is the government doing with the situation? Do they have a program that helps to develop programs/system/products that will do away with these money hogs? I think it is time that this government should give priority to scientist who can develop technologies that should help the people and not to drag the people to slavery and poverty. Or, maybe, they are doing nothing because these companies told them so? Is it the reason? Now tell me, do we have any more hope for this nation?