It was already two weeks past and she had gone away, my father's sister. If there was a greater being that can control all these things, perhaps, he has some reasons for letting it happen.
My Auntie was a strong personality. She was the 2nd of the nine children of the family that she knew. She was always the better one at annoying my uncles (her brothers) in their drinking session (I grew up in a culture where drinking wine and beer seems status symbol) , criticizing them with their behavior and their way of life, especially the ones close to her. She has always been the big mouth when her brothers are asking for rice from her, and yet, she'll see them drinking and not working at all. She has been their guard ever since. Seems good to me, telling them how to be better. But it does not stop there. In her younger days, she used to yell at my grandmother telling her that she was good only at giving birth and that is all. That she is next to nothing in doing chores and managing their resource. I don't know, it was all legend now.
I don't know if some of them(brothers) are cursing her, or someone is wishing her dead, now she was. Is it carma? Someone's got to pay what someone's taken. A rule I've been keeping since I got this hype on mind and reality. Perhaps, it is a way, that she need to suffer in order to see others helping hands, she need to be cared, for her to see that others are willing to extend their hand over her, she need to be humbled to see how things are different now than when she was still strong. Now she could no longer yell or speak or even whisper. She was silenced by a disease that she strongly objected. She wanted to fight it, but her body cannot. It was all that she could give and it is the end of her road.
To my Father, she was a comrade who when they were still small, was his playmate at the farm and in school. He was so sad, I saw it in his eyes, but he never let a drop of tear fall. Probably showing his leadership for he is the firstborn. Not even during the burial. But way back at home, he almost collapse to see that his younger sister was now gone, to a place that she would never be back. Perhaps, for him, it is better than to see her suffer in pain. He could not take it. Now only the memories remain, good or bad, they all have been buried now in memories.
All I can tell my children was that she had been good in taking care of me when I was a child. Good bye to you now, and we'll see you later.
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Extending Life
It was late Sunday afternoon when I got a phone call from my sister way back from the other town. My Auntie was in need of blood. She had been confined to a hospital for more than 3 days now and as to what I had observed, she was not getting any better.
She was a cancer patient, breast cancer made her that way. She had her breast cut, put away some muscles and tissues and undergone s chemo-therapy. That was 6 months ago. I thought she would survive. But my thoughts were just plain thoughts. It will never come true. For every day, she is getting weaker and weaker. We don't have enough money to complete her therapy so she has just gotten 3 doses, through the help of some good hearted people. When there is no more hope for the sickness, she was desperate to find ways to live and survive. She resorted to the traditional medicine here in our country, some kind of massage therapy "hilot" as we came to call it here. I don't know what or why she has done it but it somehow amplified the damage and now, she was bedridden for a week.
It is hard to think that she would say goodbye to us for she was my childhood guardian who was always there for me when I needed care. I couldn't think of anything else but to help her ease the pain that she is now enduring. If only I could take half of it, she would be better.
Before it is too late, she was taken to the hospital for a check up, but the doctors insisted that she had to be confined. So she was, and there was an order for her to undergo blood transfusion. I volunteered to be a donor. It was my first time to donate blood and I really know nothing about the process. Somebody said it was painful but I am more than ready to take that small pinch of pain to extend my Aunties dwindling life. How much is a pinch of pin pain than a cancer pain??? It was a priceless gift, though she would never knew it or she would never feel it, still, I should be thankful she had taken care of me while I was young and now it is my turn to bring something back to her. I took the pain, its not really painful, nothing much than a bite of an ant, but to undergo an ordeal with many people thinking I could not do it, is a challenge that I must overcome, and I did. Even till now, she is teaching me lessons in life, though bedridden, I can still recall how strong her personality was.
I would never want to forget her, just like my 2nd mother. I don't want to see her in pain and weary, I'll just want to see her smile once again, though not here, but she will always be alive in my memories.
She was a cancer patient, breast cancer made her that way. She had her breast cut, put away some muscles and tissues and undergone s chemo-therapy. That was 6 months ago. I thought she would survive. But my thoughts were just plain thoughts. It will never come true. For every day, she is getting weaker and weaker. We don't have enough money to complete her therapy so she has just gotten 3 doses, through the help of some good hearted people. When there is no more hope for the sickness, she was desperate to find ways to live and survive. She resorted to the traditional medicine here in our country, some kind of massage therapy "hilot" as we came to call it here. I don't know what or why she has done it but it somehow amplified the damage and now, she was bedridden for a week.
It is hard to think that she would say goodbye to us for she was my childhood guardian who was always there for me when I needed care. I couldn't think of anything else but to help her ease the pain that she is now enduring. If only I could take half of it, she would be better.
Before it is too late, she was taken to the hospital for a check up, but the doctors insisted that she had to be confined. So she was, and there was an order for her to undergo blood transfusion. I volunteered to be a donor. It was my first time to donate blood and I really know nothing about the process. Somebody said it was painful but I am more than ready to take that small pinch of pain to extend my Aunties dwindling life. How much is a pinch of pin pain than a cancer pain??? It was a priceless gift, though she would never knew it or she would never feel it, still, I should be thankful she had taken care of me while I was young and now it is my turn to bring something back to her. I took the pain, its not really painful, nothing much than a bite of an ant, but to undergo an ordeal with many people thinking I could not do it, is a challenge that I must overcome, and I did. Even till now, she is teaching me lessons in life, though bedridden, I can still recall how strong her personality was.
I would never want to forget her, just like my 2nd mother. I don't want to see her in pain and weary, I'll just want to see her smile once again, though not here, but she will always be alive in my memories.
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